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Live. Love. And Let Die. In this continuous journey of life, What do we yearn for exactly? We are all like fireworks; we climb, shine and always go our separate ways and become further apart. Then even if that time comes, lets not disappear like a firework, and continue to shine, forever. / I wasn’t intent on monopolizing you; I just wanted you to need me / People always say how you only discover how precious something is only when you lose it, but I think, you only recognize it when you see it a second time face to face.
友情。イリュージョン?

I seem to be hooked up on blogging. Seriously its like a place where u can rant all you want. Surprisingly there will be some people who look at it and you don't know, but really, don't we all just post whatever we want others to see.

Today is a day of a rant. i dont know why do i have the suddenly urge to write this because.. well i just wanted to. You know some old fart ooops some wise guy once say that friendship is like a glass ornament, once broken it can rarely be put back together exactly the same way. And you know, thats like definitely true. 100%. There will always be breakdown at some point, some time. When something goes wrong and you dont know what to do, dont know what to feel. And what has gone wrong? Ironically, most of the time both parties dont know. Both parties drift apart due to a misunderstanding. Perhaps. Maybe more than that. And there are even times when you dont even know that something has gone wrong and you continue the way you are. I don't know where do i fall suddenly. And maybe i am just over thinking. oh come on. Since when have matters been so simple seriously. Wishful thinking on my side. But i want to believe that nothing has gone wrong no matter what. Despite continually lying to myself, i know this isn't happening and it most likely won't. Again. But I still want to give it a shot and believe that all this is real. You know what. I have eyes and i can see. But i choose not to, because i don't want to accept it anyway. But it's just too blatant. Did you do all that as an act, but or as a gesture from within your heart? And i just read it. Again. Disclosing whatever i read would be like exposing the identity of the unknown person. But oh well since there could have been so many possible thing i read, chat log, posts, facebook, blah. But i found it really, well to say that there wasn't any emotions is false. All the stuff within... But it seems so different now. Like a total change. I can't stand it. Well i don't know how to write it in a way that i express my feelings yet conceal the identity at the same time. I love attention. Well i ain't an attention seeker lah in a sense, i meant of course in some other way. I like the way people talk to me and blah, that kinda way. okay it still sounds wrong. Nvm. But i don't know, you just seem to be drifting away, with a splash though. You don't go away silently. welllllllll, i seem like i am over reading but the more and more i delve into this, i just get the vibe that things are just too different. But I dont know what am i so worried over it. Do i need to be? I want to say that you dont make a difference in my life, but that would be such a lie. But perhaps the way we are moving now, maybe the answer to that will change soon. I don't even know how to tell you what i want to say. I don't even want to anyway. Status Quo. I don't like, but for now perhaps i should just try and enjoy it. I am just way to incomparable to (someone) anyway, so you do enjoy (someone)'s company. You aren't wrong anyway. I don't even hold a candle to (someone). But it's just done so like so damn obviously. Should i just ignore this. Live and let Die. Peace to the world. Should i just continue anyway. Yeah maybe i should so readers will be deterred by this incredibly tiny font and then give up. I dont think the person i am referring to knows that i revived my blog? nahhh should'nt be. Even if the person does i don't think the person will realise. You all remain happy. While we sit like ragged dolls lying somewhere else. Like in adoption centers, the child's faces light up as they present themselves just so they will get adopted. And only a few at most get the golden chance. And the bitter taste of disappointment is what's left in the mouths of those who failed. The same feelings? Maybe, but with a twist. Well i admit. (Someone)'s just wayy better anyway, in everything, there isn't even a need for me to put up a fight. Resistance? I'll probably end up being eroded away. Determination is for those who continue to cling on, continue to hold on because the manage to see the light. For those who are constantly kept in darkness, what form of holding on do we know of? I dont blame you. We are go on asearch of bigger and better things in life. And (someone) is probably it. Thats the natural course of life. I am just starting to wonder if i should just let things go on the way they are. Let go. Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you just can't see the pain someone feels. I'm smiling. But deep inside i'm dying.

this post kinda conflicts against my previous post,i know. maybe i am going mad. what to believe.