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Live. Love. And Let Die. In this continuous journey of life, What do we yearn for exactly? We are all like fireworks; we climb, shine and always go our separate ways and become further apart. Then even if that time comes, lets not disappear like a firework, and continue to shine, forever. / I wasn’t intent on monopolizing you; I just wanted you to need me / People always say how you only discover how precious something is only when you lose it, but I think, you only recognize it when you see it a second time face to face.
Life, a continuous struggle

Perhaps i should reflect on my life now, its like 12.41 on my com now, well its getting late. There a bangala at the ground floor where the activity corner jabbering on his phone call, perhaps back to India. Other than that, the only think breaking the silence is the continuous tapping of the keys of my keyboard. And 30h!3 my first kiss too. Its only my favourite playlist on my com which is like 7.4 hours, but that isnt the main focus of this post anw. Back to where i was. On my life. Surprisingly, to you guys i seem to live in a fairytale. Well lets face it. They dont exist. Like how how foundation a supermodel applies to make herself more beautiful, She is still who she is. Deep down inside. Okay that stupid bangala is starting to irritate me more. Do they know how to shut up seriously. Okay maybe this post will be deviating towards them. For those curious, i do live on the second floor and my room overlooks a reasonably large activity area with benches which the bangalas just love to be there and jabber all the way thru the night, issit cos of the time gap? Okaayyy back to topic again. I dont know. Do i seem to live flawlessly. Am i the perfect sheltered kid you guys think i am? I'd highly doubt so anyway. I lead a plain life and i know there'll be people who are like *scoffs and gives the seriously look when they see this, well if they do anyway* Life sucks. Seriously. I ended up on some unknown uncharted territory and on the boat, i am on the helm and i have to steer my way through my one year term. I dont know why the hell did i get it anyway. Sometimes i wonder if that way the most like unfortunate point of my secondary school life, perhaps many other events come close, but the thought of going thru at least 1 more year of this really frightens me. Ouch an ant is biting me. Seriosuly. ahhh. Should i just learn how to slack lah. But never mind. There are wonderful people within the organization to make me happy. I know that they'll always be there whether rain or shine. They are perhaps the people i would trust unconditionally, perhaps not all, but most. Cos i know we all have a same goal in mind and despite wherever we are, now or in the future, our hearts and minds are linked. *ohmygod so touching right!* But on the other hand the other organization i am stuck in seriously sucks. I do really contemplating to step down. What do i get. Nothing. Well other than hate, resentment, and all the negative emotions from others, i doubt that i got anything out of it. Perhaps the Part As will grow to people who i want them to be. That be possibly the only sense of satisfaction i'd probably get there. No appreciation, No recognition. And i am expected to feel passionate. Isnt that like so damn ironic. Well other than being with those guys and craping with them. Its also one of the time we are able to meet and i'd be able to give some crap reason to go somewhere so we can still stick together. Like candy. Well i dont know. I have a feeling you despise me deep down. This doesnt really refer to one person. Perhaps even more. Do i give u so much in which can be gained from and thats why u are still here? Am i still a fixture, or perhaps just some hotline in which u call upon when u need things done? And funnily i dont have a choice. But perhaps i never wanted. I do enjoy your smile. I do. Its the megawatt smile that lights up the whole town. I hadnt seen it in a while. Perhaps for an incredibly long amount of time. Well i doubt i would be able to see it again. I cant help but thing all the things that are around me, when i am around is all but a facade. Like something that could come crashing down any moment. I wouldnt be surprised anyway. I am that kind of person. What you came stabbing me from the back. What kind of expression would i have to give you. Continue laughing? Blank? Sad? perhaps i wouldnt even have the chance to show anything. That would be for the better then. And then there something which i enjoy looking at. Perhaps you wouldnt know anyway, but i really do. Its a kinda of indescribable feeling whereby i just can't begin to picture with mere words. Thats how deep. Its also mixed with a tinge of possessiveness. I want to own. Mine. But would it ever be anyway. I feel so conflicting. What would it make me. I'd be seen in a different light if i ever made a move. haix. Remedial tmr morning. :'( ending here perhaps some other time.